


The Fall of Kylo Ren: A Star Wars Story

by SailorSenshi7



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-02-18 03:08:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13091151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorSenshi7/pseuds/SailorSenshi7
Summary: Set after the events of The Last Jedi, this story follows Kylo Ren and Rey as they mediate through the ever strengthening force bond and learn that their story isn't about killing the ones they hate, but saving the ones they love.Reylo, a love story (obviously)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this! I have shipped Reylo since The Force Awakens when he first removes his mask and shows Rey his luscious locks. Maybe he's born with it?  
> Anywhoooo, I am a bit new to AO3, so if you could subscribe, like, comment I would really appreciate any and all support!

Sitting up swiftly, Kylo Ren grabbed his head with one arm, the other propping him up in the bed located in his quarters. Sweat beaded down the side of his face, his hair matted to his forehead. His room was pitch black until he waved a tired hand, using the force to illuminate the light above him.

He was having the same recurring dream about her. Rey. The scavenger.

Each night she came to him, begging him to see reason. Begging him, Kylo Ren, to stray away from the dark. Except it wasn't Kylo Ren that she called out for, it was Ben Solo, the weak fool she had bonded with on a most intimate level.

Each night Kylo Ren turned away from her and her pleas, only to watch her perish before him a few precious moments later. Not always the same way, but always the same fate.

And every time, she vanished from before his eyes, her own filled with desolation as she stared up at him, still pleading with him. Always pleading.

It was enough to make weary even the most devout followers of the darkside.

Standing swiftly from the bed, Kylo Ren stretched his body, the aches telling him in spite of his resolve to remain aloof to the scavenger who rejected him, he had been tense and tormented by his dream.

Wasn't the wretch always his torment? Awake or asleep? There was truly no escaping her and her woeful eyes.

Force be with him, he was pitiful when it came to Rey.

When the bond had first formed between them, he had been shocked and annoyed to learn that she came to him unbidden. First she insulted him, tried to shoot him, then she confided in him, made him care about anything, about something.

About her.

And then, when he had betrayed everything he knew to protect her, to provide for her, she threw his desire back at him, rejecting him outright and then blowing up a light saber in his face.

When he had awoken on the ground a short while later, she had fled, abandoning him, just as everyone else did.

This is why he cared only for himself, and even that was a thinly made statement.

Even thinking about her desertion made Kylo Ren's fist clench in anger and his mind fill was a madness he had long ago grown accustomed to. Fueled by Snoke's own wrath, Kylo's temper was a thing that was rightfully feared by everyone except Rey.

It made sense, as he had never actually harmed her, whereas she had maimed him and was always the first to strike out at him when she felt unsure of herself.

Pathetic.

Showering and changing into a fresh set of clothes, Kylo Ren found himself once again focused on her.

It had been over a month since he had last seen her through their force bond. So long in fact that he was beginning to assume the bond had truly been created by Snoke after all. If he hadn't seen her through the force shortly after he killed his master, Ren would have gone on believing Snoke's vile words. It wouldn't have been the first time his master had manipulated him, brainwashed him and abused him on some level.

At the time, Kylo Ren had used that knowledge to wipe out Snoke, knowing that even if the bond had been manufactured, Kylo and Rey's feelings for one another had been real. At least, his feelings had been true. Rey had helped him slay the guards and then fled the scene when he made it clear that her precious Ben Solo was gone. She had left him passed out on the ground amidst the carnage while she stole a ship and made her grand escape.

Honest to force, he had issued the order to blow her out of the sky without even realizing she had been aboard the hunk of junk Han Solo had loved, so blinded by his rage that he would have ended her life without even realizing until it was too late.

Kylo Ren shook his head, remembering the force vision seeing Rey aboard the Falcon, staring down at him as if he had disappointed her before she closed the ramp, effectively shutting him out in more ways than one. He took a shaky step back, feeling all of those past emotions come roaring to the center of his conscious, both his guilt and remorse and her heartbreak, knowing that he was in fact a monster.

Kylo Ren hadn't heard from her since. Nor had he been able to reach out to her. Not that Kylo Ren had tried. Not really.

Which was fine with him, truly, as he had plenty to do with the First Order in their efforts to snuff out what little was left of the rebel scum.

"And here I thought you could have wiped them all out on Crait, Supreme Leader," came and old and unfortunately familiar voice from behind him.

"I would ignite my lightsaber, but there isn't any point in stabbing a dead Jedi, is there?" Kylo Ren turned to face his uncle, scowling at the force ghost before him. All of his life, he had dreamed of the moment he would be visited by Darth Vader's force ghost. Any force ghost. Of course he would get Luke Skywalker to badger him from the afterlife.

"Why are you here," Kylo asked, which seemed to shock both of them as he had been intent on ignoring his dead uncle and continuing about his business.

"I told you I would be seeing you," Luke replied coyly, to Kylo's frustration.

Signature glare in place, Kylo Ren spit out at his uncle, "Yes and you can go now. Disappear or something. I don't have time to entertain you, nor do I wish to. Seeing you twice in one decade is more than enough to fuel my hatred of you."

Kylo Ren brushed past the ghost of his uncle, wishing more than anything he could run him through and be the one to end him. Almost like his uncle had done to him.

"Never going to let that go, are you?" Luke mused to himself aloud.

"Stay out of my head, old man." Ren shouted, spinning on his heel and coming face to face with the man who helped create the darkside user Kylo had become. Fists clenched, Kylo glared hatefully at his old Jedi Master. So much for ignoring the old bat.

"If your emotions weren't all over the place, perhaps you wouldn't be so easy to read. Anyways, I would love to stay and chat but I am actually here for a purpose." Folding his arms into the sleeves of his robes, Luke stood up straight and cleared his throat before speaking. "You are going down a dangerous path, young Solo."

After a few tense beats of silence, Kylo Ren nearly cracked a smile. If Luke thought he could rile Kylo by calling him by his forsaken birth name, he was mistaken.

"That's it? Get lost, old Skywalker. I have places to be." Kylo Ren was nearly out the door before Luke spoke up from behind him.

"The path is not dangerous for you, but for Rey, as you and she are both different sides of the same coin. One fate awaits you both and only you have the power to choose; life or death?" Spinning around at the ominous words, Kylo Ren growled at the empty room around him.

Of course the ass would deliver a warning and then disappear before anyone could ask a follow up question.

Leaving his quarters, Kylo Ren couldn't help but feel the tingle of dread moving up his spine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this next chapter! Please feel free to leave some kudos or a comment if you are enjoying the story :)

What in the force did Skywalker think he was doing? Kylo Ren thought bitterly to himself the next day after a rather intense training session. It seemed all he did since he took over that he enjoyed was training, not that he minded. No one bothered him while he trained, most likely afraid he would swipe them with his light saber. Which was likely.

Kylo Ren hated everyone aboard this ship.

Especially Hux, that meddling, vindictive snake. Hux was sure that Snoke had perished by Kylo's own hand, not buying the story Ren had fed him about Rey killing him herself. It wouldn't have mattered if it had been true or not, Hux was all about feeding discord into the stormtroopers and senior officers in order to establish his own dominance among the First Order. No doubt under the assumption that he should be ruling as Supreme Leader instead of Kylo Ren himself. Didn't the fool know that Kylo Ren's power was the true conduit to the First Order? If the First Order could survive without a force user, Hux would be leading the army right now, not Kylo.

As much as he hated everyone he worked with, this was his birthright. He surpassed his grandfather in every way imaginable. No longer the apprentice, he was now the master, the ruler. It was a vision Kylo Ren would never dreamed of becoming a reality. In a dark way, he should have thanked Rey for helping his decision be made so easily.

However, he had noticed that since he took over command from Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren was not satisfied.

'Let him have it', a small voice whispered into his mind, nearly stopping Ren in his tracks.

Let him have it?

Let Hux have it? After everything Kylo Ren had worked for? He didn't think so.

Just then, he felt...it. The slightest brush of wings against his mind, a gentle caress that startled him as the only other time he ever felt a gentle pull like this was with-

"Hi," Rey said tenderly from his left, causing him to turn in her direction. She was wearing a very similar outfit as when he saw her last, only this time it was a deeper grey, nearly black. While she looked fantastic in such a color, it seemed wrong on her. Too dark, if that were such a thing. Looking past her outfit, Kylo noted the dark circles under her eyes, almost as if she hadn't slept properly in weeks. The smile she sent him was sad and miserable.

She looked how he had been feeling since she shut her mind on him all those weeks ago.

Gutted.

Hurt.

Broken.

"I assumed I would never see you again," Ren tried to spit the words out, but as always when he spoke to her, his voice was softer. His heart was less hard and his mind lacked the jumbled mess of anger and hatred it normally did. Instead, he found himself feeling a moments peace since he saw his uncle on Crait. "Are you alright?" The words came out unbidden, and in spite of his resolve to not care, he needed to know her response.

"I've been better," Rey replied back, a small smile tugging on her lips. "You look like you're settling in well." Her words were cool but her eyes were like a storm, angry and unpredictable.

"You could have been here with me. We could have been together and ruling the galaxy. Instead you chose to leave me passed out next to several dead bodies while you left to aid my enemies."

"I don't want to rule the galaxy," Rey answered, pacing back in forth in front of him. She threw her hands dramatically into the air before they landed on her hips and she glared at him. Ren wanted to be pissed at her, he wanted to want to hurt her, to keep her away from him. Instead, he found himself fighting back a small smile at seeing her. She was here. With him."And I didn't leave to aid your enemies, I left to help my friends. Not that it matters as you nearly had me and Chewie blown up while you were on your path to self destruction!" Her words made Kylo Ren flinch, something that she missed in her own justified anger. Her anger was like a slap to the face, something that had him reeling and disoriented.

It made him lash out as well, only his words were laced with hurt and betrayal.

"The last I heard of you, you were stealing one of our own ships and fleeing me. I didn't even realize you were aboard the Falcon until our last force vision."

To think, he had nearly blown her out of the sky. He hadn't even sensed her, he had been so full of rage that he couldn't think straight.

"And your mother? What excuse do you have for nearly murdering her in your insane quest for power?" Rey's words were like venom, stinging him until he felt the burn as acutely as if he had actually run himself through with his own light saber.

"General Organa?" Hadn't he witnessed her death aboard the ship he had been unable to destroy himself? There was no way she could have been able to survive the blast.

And yet... He didn't remember feeling her death through the force, as he had with Han Solo.

Ren had assumed, wrongly it seemed, that her death had been so abrupt, so unexpected that he had been unable to feel such a burden. He had been grateful for it, in fact. Kylo Ren had enough ghosts haunting him.

"Well that is your mother, isn't it? Force help me, I believed in you. I believed that there was good in you. But maybe there is nothing left of Ben Solo after all. Maybe it's only Kylo Ren that remains." And with that, Rey dropped her aggressive stance, her shoulders slumping as she turned away from him, vanishing through his wall as she walked away.

Unable to help himself, Ren hurried out of his quarters and down the corridor she should have been walking down, his heavy boots echoing ominously among the empty hallway.

When Kylo finally found her a few precious moments later, he almost wished he hadn't.

With tears in her eyes, Rey spoke to him. "I had hope in you, Ben Solo. I guess I was wrong." And with that, she disappeared, almost as if she had staged the entire encounter in the most dramatic fashion possible.

Kylo Ren squeezed his gloved hands closed, his vision blurring slightly as he stared at the empty spot that had momentarily held his shriveled excuse of a heart.

Not wanting to be exposed any longer, Ren made his way back to his room, the door sliding closed behind him, effectively closing out his weakness.

Ren was left alone with his thoughts, his head and his heart at war with one another over Rey's words.

She had faith in the wrong person. Ben Solo was gone. Kylo Ren knew that. Why couldn't she see what was clearly right in front of her face? Rey, apparently the eternal optimist, just couldn't let go of the fact that she cared for a monster. Ben Solo was gone for good... Wasn't he?

The words echoed by Luke Skywalker floated through his head as he sat at his desk. 'Only you have the power to choose; life or death?'


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks for the kind support I have received for this fanfic! It's greatly appreciated!!!!!  
> Please leave a comment to let me know what you think about this chapter.  
> This fanfic isn't going to be too long, as I am going to just focus on the relationship between Kylo and Rey, pretty much leaving out that doesn't directly involve them together.
> 
> If you are on tumblr, feel free to follow me @ninjapenguin17 (I pretty much just reblog anything reylo related)

Leia Organa was alive.

It had been several days since he last spoke with Rey, but the thought of his mother still breathing was enough to keep Kylo Ren preoccupied and to focus on something other than Rey and her pleading brown eyes.

The knowledge the Resistance General was alive should have irritated the Supreme Leader, but all Kylo could think was that he was relieved to hear that she hadn't perished in the epic space battle when her shipped was attacked or the battle of Crait, if the latter could even be called a 'battle'.

Kylo felt the tips of his ears turn red in embarrassment recalling how epically he had failed in front of his men and those filthy rebels when he couldn't distinguish the difference between a real person and a force based hologram. If Snoke were still alive, the lashing for that would have been severe. The snide looks from Hux was almost enough to wish Kylo was being beaten into shape by Snoke, but thinking that only made him angry at himself.

Shaking his head to clear himself of remembered embarrassment, Kylo couldn't help but feel this nearly forgotten stirring in his chest, almost like warmth was beginning to seep into his tattered soul. It had been so long since he felt anything like it, but if he was not mistaken, it was hope. Hope that maybe all was not lost if his mother was still alive and well. Hope that maybe, just maybe, there was a future for Kylo Ren outside of the First Order.

'Stupid thought', Kylo thought bitterly to himself, the voice whispering in his head insidious and intense.

Hope wasn't something to cling on to, desperate for a happy ending. Hope was something you crushed under the toe of your boot as all hope did was give one false promises.

All hope did was make Ben Solo foolishly believe that someone would love him, would stay for him, be with him. All hope had done was tear apart what little light was still shining inside of him.

Like a simpleton, what was left of Ben Solo had felt the same light whenever he force bonded with the scavenger, the warmth radiating from her to fill his cold soul, giving him a semblance of peace he was unfamiliar with. When they had connected and shared their feelings in every way that counted, he had thought that perhaps... perhaps she would be the one to see him for who he really was. Maybe Rey would love him enough to stay.

In the end, all Rey had cared about was her precious Resistance and her friends. She didn't care about him. Not really.

No one cared about him.

No one had ever cared about him.

A gentle thrum in his mind let him know that he was no longer alone with his thoughts. Ren heard Rey clear her throat from behind him, causing him to turn and face her.

Instead of her usual garments, Rey was clad in a silver gown that clung to her breast and hips and trailed all the way down to the ground, hiding her feet from him. Her arms were bare as the dress was sleeveless, making this the first time he had ever seen her with so little on, which was ridiculous to think as he had ONLY seen her fully clothed.

Unfortunately.

Rey looked at him, her cheeks flushed and her mind opened up enough to let him know she was embarrassed to be seen in such a state. No doubt she was irritated to be seen in such a state by her enemy no less.

"Rey..." Kylo's words drifted off. He wanted to tell her to leave. He was not in the mood to be talked down to or made to feel guilty. He did enough of that on his own. He wanted to tell her that she never meant anything to him and that their force bond was a mistake. He wanted to tell her that she meant nothing to him, that he never thought about her and that her presence in his life was a nuisance.

But seeing her for the first time in what felt like months, he found himself captivated by Rey, as usual. Instead of cursing her name, Kylo cleared his throat, removing his black gloves as he found that his hands were rather warm all of a sudden. "You, um, you look..."

Afraid that Rey would pick up where they had left off a few days prior, Kylo was pleased to see that she was willing to look past their feud about his redemption, instead opting to speak to him as allies, as friends. It was something he was grateful for.

"Dreadful, I know." Rey muttered. "I was only trying it on, you see. I've never felt silk before and Rose said it would fit and well... I never should have put it on. I look ridiculous." Rey pulled slightly at the material, almost as if she was offended to be spotted in something so nice. Choosing not to focus on Rey's admission that she hadn't felt something as common as silk, Ren stared at her intently, hoping that his deep look would pause her fidgeting. It normally was enough to frighten even the most hardened of stormtroopers, yet she merely cast him a coy look as if she could see right through him.

Struggling with whether or not to let their history eat him up, or to continue a pleasant conversation with the woman he was deeply infatuated with, Kylo found himself at a loss for conversation.

If only his parents could see him now, a simpering fool over a pretty girl, completely unsure of what to do with himself, with his hands, with his mind. They would most likely laugh at him and mock his inability to form a coherent, diabolical thought around Rey.

Did he bring up how she abandoned him on the Supremacy? How he felt terrible about nearly killing her on accident? How he felt such guilt whenever he recalled telling his idiot of an uncle how he would destroy her? What about asking her if she missed their talks?

Kylo Ren wasn't sure what to do about anything, all he knew was that he wanted Rey to stay. He wanted to ask how her day was, see if she was alright. Was she fitting in well with the Resistance or had she been cast as an outsider due to her force sensitivity like he had been at a young age? Did she long for him as he did her?

"I think you look lovely," The words slipped out of their own accord. Ren nearly slapped himself for such an idiotic thing to say, but the small smile that danced on Rey's lips at the compliment stilled his own actions."You could have all the silk or jewels you desired if you would only choose a life with me." At Kylo's words Rey's smiled died before it had time to actually thrive.

"You know my answer," came her steely reply. Ren wanted to shrug his shoulders at Rey's hard tone, but something told him that keeping up his indifferent facade wouldn't work with Rey. When he had been honest with her in their force bonding sessions, she had grown close to him, had trusted him.

Perhaps that was the way he would sway her to his side, just as he had seen in his force vision. He knew she was meant to stand by his side. He also knew that she was meant to be his, in every sense of the word. He had seen it. Dreamt it. Felt it in his very being. Their fates were intertwined by the force and by destiny, he was sure of it.

'One fate awaits you both and only you have the power to choose; life or death?' The sinister words vibrated from within him, causing a shudder of denial to work up Kylo's spine.

"I know. But I didn't mean with the First Order. I meant with me. Come with me. Be with me." The words rushed out of Kylo and from the shocked look on Rey's face he could feel the hope welling up from a hidden pool within him, ready to burst free and with it, the last bit of Ben Solo that was still left inside. He could practically feel the light shining through his eyes when he stared at her. She was such a weakness to him.

Rey blinked at him a few times, her eyes growing wet the longer they maintained eye contact. He felt her brush against his mind, which was odd considering shew wasn't physically with him in the first place, but she could feel his sincerity and he could feel her indecision. Her desire to choose him, just as he had felt it then on the Supremacy when he offered her everything he had thought she would want; Status, power, belonging.

"Ben?" Rey stepped closer to him, closer than they had ever been before. "What are you asking me?" One final step and Rey's hand was in his, their skin on skin contact causing a sharp breath to expel from his lungs. Kylo was only able to feel the warmth of her smooth skin for a moment before his eyes clouded over and he saw into their future, one of several possible outcomes.

Whereas the first time they touched he saw a solid future with them connected as one, this time he saw only death. Her death. Playing out as it had in his dreams. She was sobbing, begging him to save her, to help her. All he did was stand there, watching her perish in front of him.

Just as quickly as it had come, the vision was gone. Taking a stumbling step back, Kylo looked at Rey, so beautiful and wonderful in front of him.

"You need to leave." And with that, Kylo Ren turned and fled from her, praying that when he turned around, she would be gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story takes a turn to focus on Rey and how she is handling herself since we saw her in The Last Jedi. How she is coping with Ben's behavior and if she has come to realize that she knew Ben long before she was even aware of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you enjoy this next installment of my reylo fanfic :)  
> If you would like to follow me on tumblr: ninjapenguin17 (this is where I just blog errday about reylo, as I have no shame)
> 
> As always, please leave a review if you like the story or drop some kudos! I am always happy to hear from people who read my work.

"You need to leave," Ben nearly shouted at Rey, his words harsh as they came at her. Rey nearly flinched at the tone of his voice, not accustomed to him speaking to her with such heat in his voice.

Ben thrust his hand away from her and then stormed off and out of her sight. Rey lifted up the skirt of the dress, intent on chasing him down. Ben looked frightened, haunted. Rey wanted to do whatever she could to help him, but an uneasiness in her mind caused her to pause.

Rey felt a tangible snap and just like that, she was back inside herself, wearing a flimsy gown and feeling like such a fool. Rey barely stopped herself from ripping the garment from her body, only hesitating because she knew this dress had belonged to Rose's sister and her new friend cherished it.

Gently replacing the dress with her usual clothing, Rey sat down on her bed, feeling more lost than she had in quite a while.

Ben had been so adamant that he wanted to be with her up until they touched... Then he looked gutted, devastated. As if he was looking at a ghost before he told her to leave, shutting her out in a more effective manner than Rey thought possible, considering how connected they were.

Rey knew that often when she thought of him the connection would intensify until they were actually communicating, but for whatever naive reason Rey had never actually assumed she was the one breaching their minds together via the bond. Maybe they could both do it when the emotion behind the thought was strong enough? Maybe Ben had been able to push her out of his mind just then?

Rey cast a forlorn look at the Jedi texts on her nightstand. She needed answers to her questions.

She had attempted to read the books on more than one occasion, but one thing was for certain; they certainly weren't page turners.

Reaching over and pulling one to her, Rey stared down at the pages for what felt like hours, hoping to find something, ANYTHING, that would give her some insight into this bond with Ben. As with every other look at the texts, Rey was having trouble finding anything that could aid her in her quest to understand.

The only explanation that she had was what Snoke had told her in his throne room, moments before Ben killed him.

Snoke had claimed that the bond was his doing, something that he had cooked up and created.

Rey felt differently.

To her, the bond had formed on Star Killer base, the moment Kylo Ren had read into her mind and sensed her fear and she into his. For Rey, at that very moment the bond was created because they were able to see so deep into one another it was impossible to hide.

Monster or not, Rey had felt something for him the moment they met on Takodona, almost as if she knew him before she actually knew his name. As if she had dreamed about him once upon a time while she lived on Jakku and a strong sense of deja vu had overtaken her.

Something about Kylo Ren had terrified Rey, but not for the reasons one might think.

As soon as he had removed his mask and stared down at her, Rey felt it all the way to her soul; she knew him.

She had instantly recalled a dream she had been having for years. It was as hazy as it always was, but in it he had called her sweetheart, begging her to stay put while he went away, disappearing deeper into the forest while she had cried and asked him to come back, scared because she couldn't see him. Rey remembered always feeling that he was lost to her forever, taken away from her and into the darkness, never to come back to the light. It was always then that he reassured her, 'I'm right here, sweetheart'.

So no, Rey had knew with absolute certainty that Snoke hadn't created the bond between her and Ben as it had already been there, much like her own force ability. It merely need a chance to ignite.

Ben had probably believed Snoke's admission, given that Snoke had been taking advantage of Ben ever since he was a child. Ben believed the bond was fake and yet he had still saved her life, had fought by her side. He had even offered her the galaxy, which was both intense and insane as Rey had seriously considered his offer if it meant they could be together. In the end, Rey knew it wasn't the right call for either of them.

Rey didn't want power, she just wanted Ben Solo.

Rey knew it wasn't until later when their force bond had come to life while Rey was saving the remaining stragglers of the Resistance that Ben truly realized that the bond had been there all along. It wasn't created by a madman and it was real. The defeated look on his face had been all Rey needed to shut the door in his face, figuratively and literally, hoping that would give him a nudge in the right direction.

It wasn't until the door shut that Rey realized she couldn't save Ben Solo, only he could do that. Only he could want that for himself.

But that didn't mean Rey wouldn't be here waiting for him until then.

Snapping out of her reverie, Rey grimaced as she realized that YET AGAIN she had retained absolutely nothing from the Jedi texts in front of her. Of course she would be thinking about Ben Solo. When wasn't she? He preoccupied nearly every waking thought she had, not to mention her dreams.

Snapping the book closed, Rey ran her hands through her hair, pulling the buns out in the process. What had Ben seen when they touched just then? What was it that scared him? And Rey knew the look on Ben's face, he had been frightened by something.

A force vision? Something else? Rey wanted to help, but she just didn't know how.

There was a light knock at Rey's door, pulling her out of her self induced melancholy. Some part of herself wanted to ignore the knock, hoping whoever it was would disappear and leave her alone.

To say that she wasn't having the best time with the Resistance was a bit of an understatement. Some people looked at her as if she was some sort of goddess, while the majority avoided her as if she had some sort of disease. Rey had Finn, Poe and Rose to keep her company, which was nice, but Rey had never felt like more of an outcast and she had grown up on a planet with literally no friends.

Rose had some sort of odd hero worship towards her that rubbed Rey the wrong way, while Finn and Poe were constantly insulting Kylo Ren.

Rey hadn't told anyone about their connection, but every time someone made an ill comment towards Ben, Rey felt some sort of white hot rage form in the pit of her stomach and she immediately had to leave them, otherwise she was concerned with what she might do or say.

Luke Skywalker had been right about her; she immediately went to the dark side. Rey found that she struggled with keeping away the darkness in her, as it was stronger than the light inside. If she wasn't vigilant, her thoughts would immediately turn sinister depending on what situation she was in. It was only when she was around Ben that she could find any true solace since her powers had manifested. She knew it was the same for him as well. They were two sides of the same coin.

He was her strength and her weakness, all rolled into one.

A knock sounded again and this time Rey waved a hand, using the force to open the door. A bit startled, Rey stood abruptly from her bed, rushing forward to usher General Organa inside her quarters.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting." Rey apologized, feeling as if she needed to smooth her tunic or fix her hair. It wasn't every day that General Organa came to see Rey and she felt nervous to make a good impression.

General Organa waved away the apology, smiling politely up at Rey. "No need to fuss, this is an informal visit." And with that, both women sat down at the only other furniture in Rey's room, a table that had two sturdy chairs. After a few seconds of silence, Leia spoke up. "I need to talk to you about Ben."

"Oh," was all Rey could manage to spit out, shocked at how forward the general was.

What about Ben? What did Leia want to know?

"Was he... How was he when you saw him last?" The words came out softly, almost as if Leia was afraid to ask. Rey felt unsure of how much she should convey to the resistance leader, but at the same time Rey understood why Leia would want to know about her son.

"On Crait," Rey asked, which was a dumb thing on her end as she could feel the confusion and inquiry from Leia's own mind at Rey's question.

"Have you seen him since?" There was a deceptively calm tone in Leia's voice while her eyes sharpened and seemed to hone in on Rey. What was up with the Skywalker bloodline?

Meddlers, the lot of them.

"What? That doesn't seem possible given that we are hiding from the First Order," Rey said quickly, before continuing on. Rey decided that she would tell Leia as much as she thought the general would need to know, but the connection between her and Ben wasn't for others to know, even Leia.

"When we were on the Supremacy and he killed Snoke, he did it for me. I could feel his resolve to ensure I was alright. Afterwards, when he told me he wanted us to rule together, I could tell that he was no longer thinking of me, only of himself. But I don't think his true desire is to lead anyone, First Order or otherwise. I think he just wants to belong. There is so much conflict in him, so much despair." Rey paused. "So much pain that I am not even sure if he himself realizes it," Rey finished sadly, feeling a familiar ache in her chest.

So much of what he felt could be mirrored in Rey's own heart. The only difference was that Rey constantly held out hope that things would get better while Ben had been dealt so many terrible hands he had already given up whatever was left in himself, until he and Rey had connected. Their connection had surprised him at first but had quickly become something he relied on, that they both cherished.

"I have to admit, after he killed his father, I knew that my son was gone. I felt it; the darkness. It wasn't until you told me how he saved you that I dared let myself hope, even a smallest amount, that he could still come back to us. To the resistance. To help us end this battle once and for all." At Leia's words Rey felt a bit of her anger rise to the surface.

"To the resistance? He is your son and yet you still think of the resistance before him?"

Poor Ben, no wonder he felt all those years ago. Rey stood from her seat abruptly, pacing back and forth in agitation. How could anyone truly be themselves if they were constantly pushed and pulled into different directions, never knowing what they themselves truly wanted?

"Of course I love my son more than anything, but sometimes you have to play the hand your dealt and this was unfortunately the hand given to me a long time ago." Leia responded, not at all riled up by Rey's indignant anger.

"The hand you were dealt? You were so consumed with the resistance and your own self interests that you practically gave your son to Snoke on a silver platter. You pawned him off on Luke and yet you wonder how he turned out the way he did? He never chose the dark side, it was forced upon him by everyone who gave up on him, on everyone who let him down and I suspect that includes you as well." Rey walked to her door and pressed the button to open it, resisting the temptation to speak more harshly to Leia. "General, I'm afraid that I must ask you to leave. I'm not in the proper mind to discuss this anymore."

In fact, Rey found herself struggling to maintain control of herself, feeling as she did when Luke finally admitted that he had been the one to turn Ben into Kylo Ren. Rey felt justified in her anger, knew that she was the only one to ever defend Ben Solo. She wanted to attack the ones who had caused him harm, even if she cared about the individuals herself. How could Rey ever choose between her friends in the resistance and Ben? Was it really even a choice at all?

Leia, seeming to sense the turmoil in Rey, went to the opened door before turning back to give a sad smile to the young force user in front of her. "I know I failed my son. That guilt will live with me forever. But seeing you here, now, it gives me hope that he has someone like you willing to fight for him. That's what he's always needed." And with that, General Organa left Rey to her own devices.

'Oh Ben,' Rey thought out, hoping that she could see him again, if only for a moment.

Rey's plea was met with stony silence.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben connect on a whole new level, which sets the course for Rey to make a decision about where her loyalties truly lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Here is the next chapter of Rey and Kylo Ben! I hope you enjoy it! The chapters are starting to get a bit longer, but this will probably only be about 3-5 chapters longer, as I am only focusing on their relationship in this fanfic and not what is going down with the war itself.
> 
> Please leave a review (the ones I have read have been so great and wonderful! I am really glad you all are enjoying the story) and feel free to follow me on tumblr: ninjapenguin17, where I for real just gush about all things reylo and post when a new story/chapter is out.
> 
> Much love!

'Ben,' Rey called out with her mind, not surprised when her call was left unanswered.

It had been days since Rey had seen Ben and she was worried. The last time she had seen him, there had been something wrong. Even if Rey hadn't felt it, which she did, Ben's face had frightened her as she never knew Ben to be truly scared of anything, and yet he had taken off as if he was being hunted by a demon.

Rey sat on the floor, legs folded in under her and her hands resting on her knees. Eyes shut, Rey reached out again, hoping the force would guide her to him, would help her see him, if only for a moment. Rey was worried that there was something wrong, almost as if there was a nagging inside of her head, pulling her in every direction but the one she wanted. She felt off, unbalanced.

Rey needed to know Ben was alright as much as she needed air to breathe.

Ren was startled out of her meditation when a gloved hand touched the side of her face. Rey snapped her eyes open, a look of relief passing over her when she gazed up at Ben, the tightness in her chest easing. Ben was wearing the same outfit he'd had on in Snoke's throne room when she had physically seen him last. Rey found herself checking him over, gaging whether or not he had acquired any injuries since they had last connected via the force.

He seemed fine and yet Rey felt the tension inside of him through their connection and the tightening grip he had on her cheek, almost as if he was trying to keep from harming her. Rey stared up at him, always in awe of how beautiful he was to her, so beautiful and so achingly familiar.

Their eyes locked together, Rey felt as if she was lost staring into his chocolate gaze. Without much thought, Rey found herself nuzzling his gloved hand, with the strangest urge to cry. Rey wanted to pull Ben to her, to hold on to him and never let go. The past few days of radio silence had been too much for her. Rey had always been so independent, free from others and yet she needed him more than she had ever needed anything.

"Rey, what's wrong?" Ben's voice was soft again, going back to the tone he used just for her. Rey smiled slightly, gazing up at the unreadable expression on Ben's face. Didn't he know how much she ached for him?

"Why have you been blocking me out? I've been worried sick about you," Rey used Ben's hand to help her stand up, finally breaking her gaze from his and looking at something other than him.

Her eyes widened as she realized they were standing in a clearing of a forest, moonlight shining down on the both of them. Rey felt a chill work up her spine. Despite of the cold wind, Rey suspected the chill was for an entirely different reason. Something wasn't right.

"Ben? Where are we? I don't understand. How can I see where you're at?"

Rey's question was met with silence, causing her to turn around, confusion etched on her face when she realized she was alone again.

"Ben?" Nothing but the darkening forest answered her. "Ben? Ben! Please don't leave me," she called out with tears in her eyes. "Please don't leave me here."

"I'm here, sweetheart." His voice called out to her from a dense area of trees and bushes. Rey found herself rushing over in that direction, only to see that he wasn't there. "I'm right here," a dark voice called from directly behind her.

Rey turned quickly, falling back into the hard ground as she recoiled from the form of Kylo Ren standing right in front of her. His mask firmly in place, Kylo Ren reached for the lightsaber on his belt, igniting the mighty blade as he stared down at her, his mask showing his indifference.

"Ben? What's going on?" Rey crawled backward, each slow movement of hers mirrored in the monster above her, stalking her as she attempted to get away. The red light from his lightsaber cast an eery glow in the darkness that surrounded him, the light bouncing off of his mask and the forest floor as he held the blade down, making it seem as if he was standing in a ring of fire, nearly ready to burn.

"Ben Solo is dead," the disembodied voice talked down to her. Finding her footing, Rey stood quickly and nimbly, reaching for her own lightsaber before she realized what she was doing. She didn't want to fight him, she wanted to help him, to save him. Letting her arms rest at her sides, Rey took a small step forward, ignoring the lightsaber in his hands as she stared hard into his mask, willing herself to see the man beneath the facade.

"Ben Solo isn't dead. I'm staring at him right now. Ben Solo is you." Rey reached out with her feelings, hoping to connect with Ben, but all she felt was darkness from within in, willing to consume her if she let it.

Rey kept herself from recoiling from the darkness, needing to stand her ground, to stand strong in front of... whatever this was. Was it Ben?

'Am I dreaming?' Rey wondered to herself. Rey didn't recall feeling the thrum of the bond before she found herself wherever she was now. Was this some sort of illusion? Something she conjured up herself from her own fear and self doubt? Was such a thing even possible? Force help her, if only she had learned anything from those blasted books!

"This isn't real," Rey said with false bravado. "This isn't you. I know you. You don't even have that mask anymore; you destroyed it. You have evolved past Kylo Ren." Rey took a bold step forward, noting that the Kylo Ren in front of her took one step back, trying to keep her away from him. His lightsaber, now free of its blade, went back to his hip, clipped and left to dangle on his side. Rey took a few more cautious steps forward, happy that he was no longer retreating from her but instead holding his ground.

Reaching his side, Rey touched his arm gently, trying to not freak out when he flinched from the unexpected contact. Rey felt as if she was trying to cuddle a cornered animal that could attack her at any given moment.

"I don't know what's happening. Ben, are you really here with me? Is this a dream?" Rey's tone was soft, hoping that she could soothe him as he often soothed her with the sound of his voice.

"I don't know. It feels real." Ben responded forlornly, as if he couldn't believe he had ignited his blade at her as if he would strike her down. 'Just like in my dreams,' Rey heard echoed into her mind from Ben. Rey opened her mouth to ask him what he meant but she was thrown for a loop at Ben's next actions.

He removed his mask, tossing the thing into the dirt with a loud and satisfying thump. Rushing forward, he pulled Rey into a fierce hug, his hands wrapping around her waist. Rey responded in kind, her hands circling his shoulders and resting on the nape of his neck, just close enough to feel the silky threads of his hair. Their body molded together, Rey sighed in relief at how wonderful it felt.

Despite the difference in height, they fit together perfectly.

Rey moved her head away from Ben's chest to gaze up at him, smiling slightly at his own awed expression. Ben seemed just as perplexed at the feeling of rightness as Rey did.

"I think I must be dreaming," Rey murmured to herself. She stared longingly up at Ben before standing on the tips of her toes, her lips only an inch away from Ben's. Rey felt Ben's small exhale of breath before he lowered his head, their lips meeting for the lightest of touches. Rey pulled back slightly, staring up at Ben to see if this was okay with him, the direction their bond was taking.

A small smirk played on Ben's mouth, dragging her eyes back to her target. Her eyes became hooded and she bit her lip slightly at the feeling that overcame her.

Just like that, Rey found her legs wrapped around Ben's waist, almost as if she was climbing him like a ladder to keep the connection of their lips from being broken. Ben grabbed ahold of the back of Rey's thighs, holding her up for him as their kiss deepened until Rey couldn't tell where she started and Ben ended.

They were one.

Ben bit down gently on Rey's lower lip, causing her to gasp in surprise at the sensation. A second later she felt the brush of his tongue along her lips before it gained access to her mouth. Her own tongue met his, their breathing harsh as their kiss became more of a dance, each one giving as much as they were receiving.

Rey didn't want the contact to end, but felt a stirring in her mind that cause her to still. Sensing her distress, Ben broke away from the kiss, his breathing heavy as he stared into her eyes.

"What is it?"

"I feel odd. Something's not right."

'Rey? REY?! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP. WAKE UP!' came Finn's sharp voice, echoing from every inch of the forest and causing Rey to release her hold on Ben in attempt to cover her ears.

And just like that, Rey found herself back in her room, staring at the horrified expressions of Finn, General Organa and Poe.

"I... What's happened? What is it?" Rey coughed, her lips still feeling swollen from the kisses Ben had given her. "Why are you here?"

Rey felt her cheeks flush with heat at the thought that maybe it had all been real. Had she entered Ben's mind while he was sleeping? Had she stumbled upon his dream and... altered it? The thought was both thrilling and terrifying, both because it had been exhilarating and also because that meant he would most likely remember everything.

Rey touched her lips at the thought, her blush intensifying. Shaking her head, she tried to focus on what was going on around her.

"We heard you talking to someone in here, but when we knocked you wouldn't answer. General Organa sensed something from you and we got a droid to let us in here."

"You were talking to him weren't you," General Organa technically asked, although it was phrased as a statement. She already knew Rey's answer.

"Who's him? You don't mean Kylo Ren?" Finn asked, a look of disgust on his face.

"I..."

"The same Kylo Ren that tortured me, ordered me killed and nearly killed Finn in the little forest duel of theirs?" Poe chimed in, the sneer in his voice unmistakable.

"He isn't the same person as he was then." Rey defended him, feeling as if one of her worst fears had finally come to light. They would know that she was in love with someone who was kind to her while he was cruel to others.

"Not the same person? You're right. Before he was just a mad dog but now he's the leader of the entire First Order. He's much worse than I remember," Poe exclaimed, pacing Rey's quarters while Leia just stared down at her in pity.

"How does it work?" The general asked, no doubt meaning the bond between them.

"I'm not sure. I feel what he does and it's the same for him. I'm not sure if we even have any real idea of how the connection works, it just happens."

"So when you see into his mind, he can see into yours?" Rey nodded her head. "I was afraid you might say that." Leia also stood from Rey, a weary expression covering her face. "Rey, as long as he has access to your mind, you put the entire Resistance at risk for exposure. We can't guarantee that he won't look into your mind, pull the information he needs in order to attack us and then execute an order to eliminate the remaining rebels. I'm sorry, but as long as you two are connected, you can't stay here."

Finn flinched at Leia's words, opening his mouth as if he would disagree with the general before Poe shook his head, effectively silencing his friend.

"There is a way that this could work in our favor," Poe mused before continuing. "If Rey can look into his mind and see what the First Order is planning, perhaps she can help us gain an advantage against the First Order. Maybe this is the way we win the war!" Finn smiled happily at Poe's idea, no doubt glad that it meant Rey could stay with him.

Leia just shook her head sadly. "Rey won't do that though, will you?"

"I won't," Rey whispered her answer, ducking her head in shame at the feelings pouring out of each of the people in the room and into her. Disappointment, anger, resentment, and the small amount of hope that was coming from Leia.

"Rey, don't do this. Don't be stupid. You can be a part of something here with the Resistance. Out there on your own, you're just-"

"Nobody?" Rey finished for Finn, smiling sadly at her friend.

"You don't understand what he's been through, what's he's dealt with and suffered. I'm the only thing he has left and if I betray him, spy on him, use him, then there really will be no hope for Ben Solo. I can't do that to him. I won't." Rey turned to Leia, who was standing in her doorway. "I'll pack my things and be out by dawn. You have my word."

"May the force be with you," and with that, Leia and the rest left Rey all alone in her room to pack what little possessions she had.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren discovers an uprising within the First Order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the chapter! Updated it while at work, so i apologize for any typos! 
> 
> If you are on tumblr, feel free to follow me @ninjapenguin17 as I am a bit reylo obsessed.

Kylo Ren sat up with a start, the sheets falling away from his bare chest as he stared into the darkness of his room.

That dream had been... unexpected. Very different than the normal doom and gloom of his nightmares.

Kylo felt a stiffness in his pants, indicating that yes, he had definitely been dreaming about Rey in a less than noble fashion. He adjusted himself as he stood, the aching he felt making him want to take himself in hand and finish what he and Rey had started.

The thought had his cheeks heating, wanting more than anything to go back to sleep and finish out the dream.

Had any of it been real? Had Rey actually been there with him? A small part of him hoped not, but the larger, more dominant side of himself hoped more than anything it had been real. That Rey had been the one to initiate their intimacy.

Kylo put a hand to his lips, certain he could still feel the silky softness of her own pressed against him. He couldn't help but wonder if her lips would feel just as good on the rest of him.

Shaking his head, Kylo quickly dismissed the thought and decided to focus on getting ready for the day. Kylo could not spend another wasteful day thinking about Rey and all she meant to him. Ren had a galaxy to rule, as much as the idea sat unwell with him.

Kylo needed to face Hux, who he had learned this past evening, was undermining him in every way possible. With the stormtroopers, with the other officers, even going so far as to blatantly disregard any and every order that Kylo gave out. One slight offense was understandable but now Hux was essentially asking for punishment which Kylo was more than happy to dole out.

Leaving his set of rooms, Ren made his way through one bleak corridor to the next, wanting to lash out at everyone he saw for the insubordination that he knew was circling around the troops. Instead, Kylo found himself remaining impassive as he strolled to the command room, wanting to give the appearance of indifference and total strength.

For whatever reason, the false calm Kylo was feeling only made him think of Rey again and how she actually made him calm whenever they were together. She relaxed him, put his entire being at ease. Force bond or not, there was just something about Rey that did something to Kylo, made him want to be more, to be better.

For her, but mostly for himself.

With that thought in mind, Kylo felt more irritated than ever with the direction of his thoughts. The longer he thought of how much Rey was changing him, the less he could see his future with the First Order.

Realistically, Kylo knew that if he wanted something concrete, some tangible, with Rey, his life could not continue as it was now.

Perhaps… Perhaps if he was able to alter the First Order… to make it more tolerable among the galaxy, maybe then Rey would see reason and join him. If he could beseech her to join him for the good of the galaxy, how could she resist?

‘She already did resist that’, a tiny voice in his head replied. No doubt the remaining shriveled heart of Ben Solo. ‘You know we are one in the same. Denial will get you nowhere’.

Sneering at the intrusion into his thoughts, Ren barely had enough time to duck as a blaster went off, laser flying right over his head.

“What the hell,” Kylo demanded, reaching out both physically and literally, freezing the gaggle of stormtroopers who were attempting to surround him. With the briefest pause, Kylo Ren choked them, as quickly as possible, before dropping the lifeless bodies to the ground. “Hux!” Ren shouted, knowing the general was behind this failed sting operation.

Behind his attempted assassination. The very thought caused Kylo to see red, his anger stirring something inside him that he remained dormant since the battle of Crait, since Rey had initially closed herself off from him; hot, burning anger, a rise in the darkside that Kylo had been ignoring in all of his downtime just thinking about Rey and how much he missed her.

Kylo knew he should have killed Hux when he had the chance; that egotistical fool had been a thorn in Ren’s side as long as they had worked under Snoke.

‘Snoke,’ Ren thought. Hux had finally figured out that Ren was behind the murder of Supreme Leader. Of course, he would need proof, but knowing Hux, he most likely had the Supreme Leader’s chambers bugged. The evidence would be all the fool would need in order to stage a riot like this.

Bracing himself, Kylo stepped back into the main corridor, feeling out with the force to sense who else might be lying in wait for him. Only sensing a few more stormtroopers and Hux himself, Kylo raced forward to the command room, willing the door open so he could end this tyranny before it even had a chance to properly start.

Bursting through the opened doorway, Kylo brought himself to a pause, confusion clouding his mind at what he saw before him.

Hux was holding up an instrument Kylo Ren had seen recalled seeing before, but found himself unable to understand what exactly the instrument was used for. It only took him a small second to realize this was a device Snoke had requested be built to handle Rey if she was ever to be captured and brought in again.

It was something to stop a force user.

Before Kylo could brace himself, a bolt of lightning shot from the instrument, striking Kylo midchest and causing him to fall to the ground, left immobile for a few precious seconds.

It was all the time Hux needed. Another blast and Kylo was scooted back several feet along the black tile flooring, his entire body aching and protesting as Kylo attempted to stand, to do anything to combat the effects of the device that was torturing him.

To make his noticeable weakness worse, Rey was beside him in an instant, her hands reaching out and grabbing onto the part of his chest that burned, a small bit of smoke steaming up from his clothing.

“What’s happening?” Rey nearly shouted at him, using her strength in attempt to pull him away from Hux and his blasted weapon. The panicked look on Hux’s face almost made Kylo laugh. Of course, it probably did look horrific to see a force user being dragged about the room via an invisible force. “I can’t help if I don’t know how! Please, Ben! What’s going on?”

Before he could answer, another hit from the weapon had Rey falling back, screaming in agony just as Kylo wanted to do to help alleviate the vast pain coursing through his body.

Blast, Rey could feel that? She was hurt? Because of him?

Kylo Ren turned a savage look to Hux, something dark and deadly coming to life inside of him as he stared at the culprit who caused Rey harm. Ren could have believed he was fully turning to the darkside if he did not also feel the bright light inside of him intensifying. It continued to amplify within him, burning as brightly as his righteous fury, the light and dark coming together with one singular goal; to eliminate the threat to Rey.

Hux thought he could hurt Kylo, could hurt Rey? Hux thought he was the more powerful of the two of them?

Ren would hold back no longer.

Before Hux knew what hit him, Ren had jerked the weapon from the general’s hand with the force, crushing the weapon midair, the pieces of the device crumbling and falling at Hux’s feet.

Or rather, where Hux’s feet would have been if the general hadn’t taken off as if the underworld itself were chasing him. Maybe that’s exactly what was happening to the poor general.

Kylo smirked, the feeling foreign on his face.

Kylo wasted no time killing the remaining guards in the command room before turning to Rey to ensure she was alright.

“Don’t worry about me, go get him!” Rey exclaimed, sitting up with a small grunt before she disappeared in front of him, no doubt returning back to her side of the galaxy. He hoped she would be okay now that they weren’t connected. He couldn’t stand the thought of her in any lasting pain because of this foolish uprising.

Wasting no more time, Ren stormed off after the general and his pathetic minions, determined to end this tyranny once and for all.

Rey sat up from her stone bed inside her little stone hut on Ahch-To, grimacing at the slight pain that lingered in her body before finally disappearing as if it had never been.

If Rey felt such pain through the bond, she could only imagine what Ben must have been feeling. What had been going on with him, anyway?

Rey had only been reading the outer musings in his mind before she was brought back to her physical self but she knew without a doubt he had been betrayed by someone within the First Order.

While Rey was a bit relieved to think that Ben might end up leaving the First Order much sooner than she had thought possible, Rey couldn’t help but feeling so depressed for him. Miserable on his behalf. Ben had been betrayed by anyone and everything he had ever cared about.

His parents had essentially abandoned him when he became too strong, giving him to Luke for training. From one of his force visions, Rey knew all too well how that had ended for Ben, turning him into Kylo Ren and delivering him directly into Snoke’s hands.

Rey had only made it worse when she rejected his proposal that she join him, going for the Skywalker lightsaber instead of his outstretched hand. Rey remembered how hurt he had felt, how angry at her, but mostly at himself for caring about her at all. His devotion to her, his caring and yes, his love, had made him susceptible to be hurt by her, and hurt him she had.

Rey knew he understood now why she had left him, although they had only discussed it briefly. Rey wanted him, Ben Solo, however he came, but she did not want the chaos of Kylo Ren or the First Order. In that moment, after battling the guards, Rey had sensed something truly frightening in Ben, something that had scared her away from him. His resolve to be the most powerful dark ruler had momentarily blinded Rey from any hope she had of Ben coming back to her in that moment. If that hadn’t been enough, Rey was also sure that she left him for other reasons as well.

She couldn’t even say she rejected him because of the Resistance, although she had left him to go save her friends.

No, Rey had left him because she was sure that his place with her was outside the First Order just as Rey’s place was outside the resistance. Neither of them belonged with either group, just with each other. Rey knew that her place was with Ben, but when he had been so dark, so all encompassing, Rey had reacted to protect herself, because she knew how easily she could have descended into the darkness with him, how quickly she could have become the very thing she was trying too hard to balance out within herself.

With that thought, Rey cast a forlorn glance around the stone hut she occupied. She hoped Ben was okay and that whatever he was going through, he made it out alright.

They might not agree on everything, or anything really, but Rey was going to do her best to be there for him, to stay true to the bond between them. She didn’t want to betray Ben Solo again.

He was all she ever really had.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren and Rey find themselves together again, although the circumstances are less than ideal to their reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment/some kudos if you are enjoying the story! I will try to get back to everyone as soon as possible, it is just a bit harder now that I have returned to work. 
> 
> My tumblr is ninjapenguin17 if you would like to follow all of my reylo spamming, which is daily

Kylo stumbled toward his command shuttle, lightsaber swinging wildly in all directions to combat the blaster fire that came at him from seemingly everywhere.

Ignoring the trail of blood that was no doubt coating the floor, Kylo Ren made it to the ship, waving a hand and allowing the door to lower to allow him access to his ship and his safety. Who knew that Kylo Ren would be fleeing all that he knew, forced out by such an inconvenient nuisance as General Hux? Granted, he didn’t expect Hux to be cowering behind several hundred storm troopers, intent on taking Kylo out. He had successfully managed to kill several of them, but after an unlucky blaster shot had hit him in the same spot Chewbacca’s bow caster had struck him several months ago, Kylo realized that this battle was useless.

He knew that if he just made it aboard the shuttle, his safe haven, he could escape and maybe live to fight Hux another day, if it should come down to that. If he wanted it to come down to that. Kylo should have known that the coward would have an army at his front while he hid away from his punishment, and make no mistake about it, Kylo Ren would deliver justice and pain to General Hux before everything was said and done.

Technically the shuttle was his and Hux’s ship, however, after the unfortunate success of Hux’s coup, Ren felt a small sliver of satisfaction at knowing he was commandeering the general’s favorite ship.

A petty part of him hoped that Hux had a few of his precious belongings on board so that Kylo could vacuum them out into the nothingness of space. It wouldn’t be anything like snuffing out the pathetic life force that was Hux, but it would be something Kylo could look forward to.

A snarl forming on his lips, Kylo closed the door behind him, settling himself in the pilot’s seat and fleeing the First Order before he could be blown up.

Grievous wound aside, Kylo Ren was still the best pilot in the galaxy, that dumb rebel pilot had nothing on him. The idiot his mother favored really made Kylo Ren want to strangle someone with his bare hands. He wouldn’t need the force to help see his rage through for that one. As far as Kylo Ren was concerned, Poe Dameron was the rebel version of Hux. Cocky, way too sure of himself and under the delusion that he was the best at what he did and that he was deserving of everyone’s respect and awe.

Entering light speed, Ren sat back in the seat, reluctant to look down at the wound in his side. He knew once his erratic thoughts left Hux and that pilot, Ren would be finally allowing himself to feel the pain and exhaustion that was riding him hard.

Getting out of his seat, Ren hobbled over to a med kit built into the side of the wall, pulling out a pack and ripping out the contents from the box before him.

Ren wasted no time pulling off his clothing, leaving nothing but his pants and boots on. He rolled the bloodied waste band lower until he could properly see the wound in his side. Much to his chagrin, the blaster had ripped open the scar from Chewie, the bleeding more severe than Kylo would have liked.

As he attempted to close the wound with the bandages laid out before him, Kylo knew that he was in trouble if he couldn’t find a medical droid to assist him. He leaned into the wall, using it to help him balance as a small wave of dizziness overcame him for a brief moment. How much blood had he lost?

A faint tugging on his mind and Kylo found himself face to face with Rey, a startled expression on her face.

If he had felt better, Kylo would have taken this time to remark on her appearance, as yet again, she looked lovely. Her hair was down around her shoulders, a tight fitting tunic on her upper body that exposed the smooth expanse of her stomach, and a small pair of sleeping shorts that showed her bare legs to him. While she looked lovely, Ben couldn’t help but wonder if he had disturbed her while she attempted to sleep. She seemed fine since he had last seen her a few hours ago, which was a relief. He didn’t want to feel even more guilt thinking that she had come to harm, that he had been unable to protect her. He had already felt a huge amount of guilt for allowing her to be tortured by the Supreme Leader; for being unable to stop it as he should have.

She looked relaxed and Kylo felt that this was the most beautiful he had ever seen her. Rey looked lovely in the gown he had seen her in, but this was something altogether more magical. She looked herself and that was more beautiful than the most exquisite gown she could have been wearing. Should he tell her?

“Ben?” Rey rushed over, her eyes wide as saucers as she touched his naked chest briefly, her eyes and then hands lowering until they covered the wound on his side. “Oh Force, Ben. You’re really hurt.”

“It’s nothing,” Kylo found himself reassuring her, his bloody hand coming up to cup her cheek in an uncharacteristically bold display of affection on his end. Rey closed her eyes at his touch, almost as if she was savoring the feel of his connection with her. He almost grimaced as the blood on his fingers transferred over to her creamy skin, marring the perfection before him.

“Ben, where are you?”

“Somewhere in space. I’m on the command shuttle. On the run from the First Order it appears.”

“Come to Ahch-To.” Rey told him without hesitation, a determined look on her face.

“Why would I go there?”

“I’m there. It’s just me. Well, me and these weird Force nun creatures, but you’ll be safe here.”

“You want me to come to you?” Ben asked, a hitch in his voice as she held him up, mirroring his movements to get him back in the pilot’s seat. Rey still kept ahold of his shoulder, almost as if she could give him strength through their touch alone.

“Of course I do. Of course I do. You’re hurt. I will help you heal, keep you safe. You won’t be alone anymore.”

“You won’t leave me?” He asked, seemingly forlorn as his vision clouded briefly before he blinked the drowsiness away.

Seeing this, Rey shook him slightly, giving him the coordinates he needed to come to her. “Ben, you have to stay awake. Please stay awake. You’ll need to land the shuttle when you get here, okay?”

“Rey?” Ben called out, only to be greeted with silence. The gentle brush of her fingers along his shoulders disappearing as well.

Steeling his resolve, he punched in the proper coordinates and prayed he could get to her before he passed out.

(~*~)

Rey felt him before she saw him. Ben was finally here, with her.

Leaving the stone hut she had been occupying, Rey looked up into the sky, feeling a small sense of dread as she watched the ship descending too quickly into the atmosphere and toward the lonely island. Rey reached out with the force, hoping she could connect with Ben.

All that met her call was silence.

The dread in Rey’s heart doubled in size at the silence that greeted her. Surely he wasn’t… Ben couldn’t be dead. Oh, Force help her. He couldn’t be. They hadn’t even come to a truce yet, hadn’t even delved into the meaning of their visions, into the possibility of them existing as one unit. If Rey was being honest with herself, she only saw a future with him, only saw her having a life with Ben and all of his baggage.

He was it for her.

Reaching out with the Force inside of her, Rey pushed against the ship that was descending rapidly, hoping that if she couldn’t stop it on her own, which would be insane if possible, that she could at least slow it down enough to allow him to land as safely as possible. Rey felt the fear in her trigger the dark side, blending seamlessly with the light side of the force. Rey felt her own power amplify as the warring factions inside of her became one, moving together to accomplish one singular goal.

Refusing to dwell on the possibility that Ben was gone from her, Rey pushed out with all of her might, a small scream forcing its way out of her mouth as she felt her muscles ache, her mind stretch impossibly further as the force collided with the ship. Sighing in relief as the ship seemed to stop in midair before falling again, Rey watched as the ship came down, still too rough but not as bad as before. Rey’s power cut off abruptly, as if the weight of what she had done, how she had done it, had been far too much to process. The shuttle, landed roughly on the island, skidding across the grass and knocking down several large rock sculptures that the batty old nuns would no doubt lose it over. 

Not caring at the danger present to her, Rey sprinted forward on tired legs, running at the ship that was finally coming to a stop several feet in front of her.

Once the ship came to a complete stop, Rey ran along the side of it until she came to the back, using the force to pull open the only access point to the ship. Once inside, Rey hurried to Ben’s side, a small gasp of air breaking out of her as she came upon the still form of Ben Solo.

The blood around him was everywhere, on his pants, his boots, the floor, the chair, his chest. He was still, still enough to cause a mild panic in Rey as she reached for him, trying her best to shake him awake. If he didn’t wake up from the crash, then her shaking him would do nothing. He was as limp as a ragdoll in the pilot’s seat, the belt that kept him secure in the chair the only thing that held him in place instead of falling onto the floor.

“Ben, Ben, please don’t leave me. Please,” Rey found herself sobbing, trying to pull his lifeless form from the seat and into her arms. Lacking the strength necessary, Rey could only pull his upper body to her, his head resting on her shoulder as she clutched him to her, crying into his neck. She moved her hands to hold onto his strong bare back, wishing more than anything he was still with her, still okay. He couldn’t leave her now, not when they had just found each other.

Her shaking moved Ben’s head up and down, giving him the semblance of life as she held him to her as if he was the most precious thing in the galaxy, which he was to her. “You can’t leave me. You said I wasn’t alone anymore. You promised me. Please.” Rey cried harder, the words finally resonating within her. Ben was gone, he was gone and she was well and truly alone. They hadn’t even had a chance to be together, not in any true sense of the word. Hadn’t she endured enough loss, hadn’t she been through enough to have just one thing go right for her? Instead, the galaxy seemed to be playing yet another cruel joke on her, fate once again ripping away the only thing she wanted.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Ben said to her weakly, his head moving away from her shaking shoulder to stare down at her. Rey moved back quickly, startled by his voice, weak as it was. His eyes were glazed, his skin pale, but Rey didn’t care. She leaned into him, her lips brushing his tenderly, savoring how her soft lips felt on his, his lower lip pressing into hers as they both leaned into the kiss, as if they might not get another chance at any form of intimacy. Rey let her lips linger on his before she pulled away and looked up at him, her breath hitching in her throat.

“I thought you were dead,” she whispered to him, noting the way his hand came up to rest on his lips, as if he was holding on to the kiss with everything in him. Rey felt her eyes watering again and willed away the tears, refusing to give in to any more despair.

“I feel dead to be honest.” Came the weak reply.

“Right, we need to get you out of here and to the nuns. Miracle workers, that lot.” Rey unbuckled his belt, helping Ben stand from the seat and be supported by her arms, which now felt as if they could lift a thousand pounds as long as it helped Ben get better. She didn’t actually know if the nuns could work miracles, but those nuns better hope they could for their sake. Rey wouldn’t let anything happen to Ben, not after the thought of losing him had almost had her spiraling out of control.

Once they were safely out of the ship and onto the island, Rey hollered at the nuns that were gathered around, staring forlornly at the rubble that surround the ship. Quickly, Ben was gathered up and carried to one of the huts, medicinal herbs placed around him as his wound was cleaned, the sleeping man completely unaware of what went on around him.

Rey refused to leave Ben’s side, afraid that if she did he might not be okay when she got back. Rey couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to him, especially if there was anything she could do to prevent it.

Looking at the large wound in his side, Rey felt the swelling of rage forming around her, the energy dark and dangerous. Hux was going to pay for doing this, if it was the last thing Rey did.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next installment to the story!   
> Thank you so much for the kind support of this story and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Pain.

It was all he felt. It kept him immobile with its fiery intensity. It kept him caught in the throes of agony, unable to even open his eyes; it was all Kylo could think about. He was drowning in the pain, left alone to suffer for an eternity. It was his due, given all the torment, pain and mayhem he had caused since joining the First Order. This was how he would meet his end. Doomed and miserable.

He jerked at the feel of hands grabbing at him, his current state causing him to focus on all the ‘lessons’ the Supreme Leader had given him over the years any time he was out of line, and several times when he was well within the imaginable line his master had created for him. The feel of skin grabbing his wounds made him think of each and every time he was caught embracing even a sliver of light and the direct repercussions thereafter. Kylo wanted to battle against the hands that ensnared him, wanted to tap into the well of rage that was always full and ready to embrace him. Only… He couldn’t. He was weighed down by the pain that only allowed him a few small pitiful moans of protest as his emotional agony became nearly unbearable.

Until he felt it. The gentle brushing of Rey’s mind with his. He would know her ethereal signature anywhere. It was smooth, languid, whimsical and airy. Often when their minds brushed, Kylo could feel every part of him floating along her mind, hoping one small piece of him could be locked within her mind and flourish under the light he saw there. He could practically feel the light Rey brought with her, warming him, soaking through the damage done to him by Hux, until it began to alleviate his pain, to bottle it up and take it away from him. Where before he only knew pain, now all he could feel was a sense of peace soaking all the way through and into his very bones.

The weariness and the despair that was like a cloak that he wore daily seemed to be shrugged from his shoulders, falling to the floor only to be forgotten under the feel of Rey inside his mind, of her hand in his as his breathing finally evened out until he could rest.

It was with the knowledge that he was not alone, the person he loved was with him, that finally allowed Kylo Ren to succumb to a deep sleep, leaving room for a part of himself that had been long forgotten to awaken.

(~*~)

Rey stayed by Ben’s side, her outward appearance as much disheveled as her mind. It had been several hours since Rey and the nuns had ushered Ben into her small hut. It took even longer to find the proper items to care for such grave wounds, but the nuns didn’t mess around, immediately setting to work on mending the terrible damage that had been done to Ben.

Rey was also surprised that so far no one had scolded her about the rocks that had been knocked down when the shuttle landed, considering she had knocked one rock out of alignment with a blaster bolt and she hadn’t been able to hear the end of it since being back.

Helping to clean up the remaining blood on Ben’s heavily muscled torso, Rey crooned and hummed at him when she jerked away from the cloth, a soft hiss leaving his mouth before he fell back onto the cot.

Rey did her best to stay hopeful that all would be well, but the way Ben thrashed on the bed, grunting each time someone touched a wound in order to treat it, Rey felt a piece of herself breaking off at the knowledge that this man was afraid to be touched by another. He even moaned when someone touched an uninjured part of his body in order to keep him still. It was enough that Rey knew some things about his past, but to see the consequences of that past laid out in front of her, Rey felt the anger she attempted to keep at bay rising in furious waves.

She wanted to blame Luke, wanted to think that the Jedi Master was responsible for the way Ben’s body clenched at contact as Ben had been ambushed in his sleep by his former master. However, seeing Ben so close up and without his shirt, Rey was able to make out several scars along his upper torso and arms and she was willing to bet more scars aligned his back. They were almost all the same size and shape, some more faded than others. It all left Rey with the same conclusion.

These had all been deliberate methods of abuse, spanning Ben’s life. Rey was willing to be the scars had come along shortly after Kylo Ren had. Was this how Hux attempted to keep the light side of the Force sequestered and away from Ben all these years? It wasn’t just mental manipulation; it was physical torture.

Rey shivered at the thought, a lone tear running down her face as she watched his body bow off the bed in attempt to escape the nuns who were only doing their best to help him.

Unable to take the sight anymore, Rey grabbed Ben’s clenched fist the same time she entered his mind, whispering soothing nothings into his head until his body relaxed entirely, his fist unclenching so that she could wrap his limp hand in hers while she spoke to him.

The nuns finished wrapping his bandage and stitching him up, leaving Rey with a slight feeling of idiocy as she hadn’t considered using the Force to calm him until just now. With one of their signature disgruntled looks, the 3 nuns filed out of the small stone hut, leaving Ben and Rey alone together. It was the first time she had actually seen him since the assassination of Snoke, but Rey was glad to be with him in his time of need. Hopefully once he was recovered he would still want to remain with her.

They didn’t have to stay on Ahch-To if he preferred to be away from anything Jedi related, aside from her. Rey was willing to follow him anywhere that she was able.

Rey could feel the pain in Kylo’s head as well as the darkness that was always present, seeming to gravitate towards Rey, as if it would be able to pull her into its seductive web. Rey felt around the silken edges, wondering what she should do with the darkness she felt in his mind preventing him from resting properly.

With a bit of hesitancy, Rey reached out for the dark mass, letting the strands pull her close enough. Then Rey thought about Ben, about how he made her feel whole, which was so strange as they were both so broken. She thought of how her breath locked in her chest every time she saw him in a vision or in person. Rey thought about how big and warm his hands were in hers, how the scar on his face only enhanced how beautiful she thought him.

Lastly, Rey thought about her vision when they had first touched hands in this very, now repaired, hut on Ahch-To. It seemed like such a long time ago, but Rey could recall the vision more and more clearly. Sometimes it morphed slightly in her head, more parts becoming clear while the overall vision was still a tad bit hazy. One thing she knew for sure, Rey was happy in her visions. Immensely.

Without much thought, Rey was able to project her vision out to Ben. She thought of the sun shining down on them, the tall grass that surrounded them as they held each other, laying down in a field in the middle of nowhere. She could feel the breeze as it ruffled their hair, she could feel the warmth of Ben’s body as he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her as close to him as possible, their legs intertwined as they both looked up at the sky, watching the sun slowly begin to set. It was then that the vision began to disappear, became hazy. Rey only knew that whatever lay ahead filled her with such hope, such longing, it was a tangible thing in her mind. She passed that feeling, that hope onto Ben.

It was only then Rey realized the darkness, although still very much a part of them both, receded further back until Ben let out a breathy sigh and fell into a deep sleep. Careful to not jar him, Rey moved to his uninjured side on the cot, adjusting herself until she lay next to him, her hand clutching his again as she cuddled into his arm, the only part of him she dared touch.

“You’re going to be okay, Ben. I believe that.”

After a few more minutes of fretting while trying to remain calm, Rey finally allowed herself to sleep, Kylo’s lightsaber next to her in case she needed to use it. She wouldn’t let anything harm him, not ever again.


End file.
